How to Help Yourself Heal From Life’s Painful Experiences

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” Buddha
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When someone we love is suffering, and crying out in pain our immediate response is to seek to help and comfort them! We deeply long to bring relief to their suffering and pain. We will do all that we can to help them find healing and relief, as well we should. But what if the person suffering and in pain is you? Will you take the same effort to help yourself find healing and relief? Or will you like a “good soldier” just try to muscle through it, and keep going? Do you ignore your own pain until you reach your breaking point, and collapse in unbearable agony?

What if someone we only know at work or casually is in pain and suffering? Will we try to help or be supportive? Or do we feel uncomfortable being around them, and try to ignore them in the hopes things will get better on their own. After all it is their problem, not our’s right? We can’t help everyone? Or can we be of help, while still maintaining some personal boundaries; to keep from being engulfed by others who may drain us of our life energy? How can we avoid being used by energy vampires, who often use others who show compassion for them, by draining them of their energy reserves, with their continual  creation of crisis after crisis?

These are a lot of very deep questions. Each one of us must answer them for ourselves depending on our own inner strength, and ability to handle each situation. We may liken ourselves to swimmers at the beach, surfing the incoming waves. How far out we go and how big of a wave we seek to master, will be very dependant on our strength and skill level. Going out to far, or tackling to big and powerful of a wave can have very disastrous results!

We will look more at the questions of helping others who are not close to us, and consider how to avoid energy vampires, (yes they are real) in a future post. Today, I will focus on how we deal with our own pain. Specifically I am referring here to our mental or emotional pain. The reason for this being, that if we do not take care of ourselves first, we can be of no real help to anyone else. I know many of us, myself included have often tried to do the exact opposite, and take care of everyone else first, tending to put ourselves last.

(Note: If you are experiencing physical pain, please see your Doctor. Your body needs help! If we do not care for all aspects of our well being, we will become non functional, or this life could end early.)

To be the best Inner Warrior we can be, we need to put ourselves first, and take comfort in knowing that our pain is not permanent. It will one day end, as it says in Revelation 21:3-5 “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away. 5 “And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”


Pain in life is inevitable but suffering is not. Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself [by the way you think about the ‘pain’ you receive]. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. [You can always be grateful that the pain is not worse in quality, quantity, frequency, duration, etc]

We still have our present experiences of pain here however. Our body, mind and spirit cry out in pain to get our attention, so we can come home to ourselves, and take care of our feelings, our perceptions and suffering, as Thich Nhat Hanh describes in this photo quote posted here today.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” “People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don’t suffer anymore.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
How do we begin to heal ourselves? It may seem very daunting at times. I am too busy to stop and take care of myself one might say. The counter point however is, if you do not take time for yourself, who will?
Consider these helpful methods presented by Thich Nhat Hanh. I have found these to be helpful for any strong emotion whether pain, or anger or some other irritation.

“Your body is your first home. Breathing in, I arrive in my body. Breathing out, I am home.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath.”

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

“Your breathing should flow gracefully, like a river, like a water snake crossing the water, and not like a chain of rugged mountains or the gallop of a horse. To master our breath is to be in control of our bodies and minds. Each time we find ourselves dispersed and find it difficult to gain control of ourselves by different means, the method of watching the breath should always be used.” Thich Nhat Hanh

In closing today I want to invite you to consider ways that you can incorporate into your routine that bring you healing and peace. Allow your Inner Warrior to speak to you. Draw Inspiration from your chosen faith. If reading scriptures or meditation, perhaps writting in a journal or walking in a tranquil place; doing yoga or some other exercise are helpful to you, please take time for these beneficial practices to heal yourself. Walking Meditation, Sitting Meditation and Breathing Meditation like the one shown in this post, can all be very helpful, and used anywhere and at any time they are needed.
You are a beautiful and precious human being. You are worthy of love and healing! You are worthy of peace, joy and happiness! Please allow yourself to experience these wonderful things. <3 <3 <3
Namaste. May the warmth of love, the comfort of kindness, and the light of truth bring you the joy of inner freedom, and the healing we all seek!

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