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A Mother’s Love Lives On

 

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As I think back on the many strong and amazing woman in my family tree, and all the things they went through to raise their children in so many challenging circumstances; I feel a sense of awe and wonder at how they made it through the hardest of times for the love they each had for their children.

Both my Great Grandmother and her Mom before her, on my Mother’s side, had lost their husbands early in life, leaving them with many hungry mouths to feed, and no resources to help like we have today. My Great, Great Grandfather was killed by a train, leaving his wife and five children to survive in a rough world alone. My Great Grandmother Jane, who was 12 when her Father died went to work in a Hotel some miles away in Tombstone AZ, to help her Mother feed her siblings. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been, yet she persevered. Many years later, her own husband died of appendicitis, leaving her with four small children, and another on the way.

She worked and struggled for years, running a boarding house and washing laundry by hand, to raise those children. She refused to marry her husbands best friend Wesley, who had promised her husband Joseph, as he died, to look after her and the children for him. She did not want her children raised by a Step Father. As it turned out Wesley was amazing, and would have made a wonderful Father to her children, and made her life much easier. I understand from experience how difficult it can be to know what the best course of action to take is, in many cases. Jane did finally marry Wesley, after 13 years of him asking her, which I think is really romantic!

My grandmother had miscarried many times before she was able to have my Mom. Due to an error the Doctor made while delivering my Mom,  my grandmother became so ill she almost died! Her family prayed for her, and She also prayed as she lay dying. She promised God if he would let her live, she would raise my Mother to follow him. She was healed, and she kept her promise! She was not able to have anymore children. She made up for her loss, by loving and nurturing my Mom with all her heart! She worked very hard for many years as a nurse, to help raise my Mom and ensure she had the best possible education and opportunities. She also greatly loved my sisters and I when we were born years later! She and my Grandfather gave us many wonderful memories to cherish of them.

My Mother had us girls before she was able to complete her education, but she helped my Father to achieve his Bachelor’s degree and raised three children. She has struggled for many years with anxiety and depression, but she looks to her heavenly Father for help with these things, and is doing very well. She also beat cancer about 12 years ago, with No Chemo or Radiation! She has remained cancer free, by following the dietary guidelines she learned while overcoming her illness! She used all natural methods of fighting the cancer, with the help of a Naturopathic Doctor. He helped her find the best ways to help her body heal. She learned to maintain an alkaline balance  by eating and  juicing fresh green leafy vegetables, and by avoiding sugar. This diet helped her maintain the alkaline balance needed to reverse the cancer.

She also researched and utilized a number of nutritional supplements that helped her to reverse her illness and become cancer free, and stay that way! I admire her so much for her courage and persistence in finding the best way to heal herself even though conventional doctors were so against what she wanted to do, that her original primary care physician kicked her out of his office!  She sees his partner now, and always gets the strangest looks from her former Doctor when she comes in healthy and well, no cancer…He does not know what to think of her!

She will be 80 years old this Mothers day! I love her so very much and feel so incredibly blessed to still have her in my life! She was a great inspiration to me over the years, and encouraged me greatly as I struggled alone to raise my three children. She told me to never give up, that I could do it, I just need to remember to rely on God as my strength and anchor to get me and my kids through the storms that life dealt us.

Life is often difficult, and sometimes we make it harder than it should be, by the choices we make. Regardless of this we can still trust that God will get us through whatever we create for ourselves to experience; with the thoughts, words and actions we choose to manifest. I know I made some very poor choices early in my life, which led to a great deal of suffering and abuse for myself and my children. It took a lot of therapy, many great books, and some amazing people God put in my life, to help me begin to break that vicious cycle. I am deeply grateful to them all!

I grieved for many years over the abuse we all went though, and not being able to provide my children with a happier and healthier childhood. I also grieved for the six babies I miscarried. Little ones I never got to see or hold. I did not understand how to create a better life. It took years to learn, that most of what I thought I knew about life was wrong. When you are able to see that, it gives you a chance to rethink everything and try again.

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I used to be a doormat Mom, and let my children manipulate me and use me, and heap guilt on me, for all the mistakes I made. It was because I believed I was not “good enough,” and didn’t deserve any better. I gave, and gave, and gave, as I was trying to make it up to them for all my past failures. I thought that was what a Mom was supposed to do, sacrifice everything for the love of her children. What I have since learned that what I needed to do, was love and respect myself. With a healthy sense of self-love and respect, I could have healthy boundaries, and teach self-love and respect to my children. Without self-love and respect, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship.4a2b626b138c5a79f5bc0bc8ff9bc281

Honestly I think a loving Mom is a wonderful gift! She is precious, flaws and all! Moms are a lot like teachers, and as such are often underappreciated, and underpaid! We are taken advantage of, taken for granted and often treated with disrespect and abuse! If you have a Mom, please try to see all she has done for you with new eyes! My son recently did this for me, and expressed deep appreciation of me and all I had done for him. It was wonderful for both of us! When we forgive our Mothers mistakes and simply love her for giving life to us, it blesses us both and helps the Mothers love to live on inside of us! Love her for trying her best with what she knew, and what she had available to help her make things as good as she could for you.

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Everyone of us carry our own wounds, as no one is perfect. If we can rise above these wounds, and forgive one another, and seek to live with love, compassion and kindness as our guides we can create a far better life for both ourselves and our children, and everyone else who we touch in this life. The best Mother’s day gift anyone can give their Mom, is to forgive her, and love her unconditionally! Give each other a clean slate, and build a new healthy relationship with each other. If your Mom is no longer living, you forgiving her and loving her unconditionally will still help you and the part of her that lives on in you to heal and move forward as the best possible version of yourself.

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I know for me, becoming a Mom, and learning through my mistakes how hard it is to raise children, especially alone or in a dysfunctional family setting. It can be nightmarish! I came to much greater heights of appreciation for my parents, along with a deeper understanding of them as human beings. We all have both strengths and weaknesses. We may also have many misperceptions passed down for generations of how we should be. It takes much inner reflection to see the truth and understand new things. With Divine guidance and much careful contemplation we can transform the dark energies and false perceptions that drag us down into drama and unhappiness; into higher and better ways of relating to ourselves and others.

I pray that this Mother’s Day might be a time of love, peace happiness, forgiveness and healing for all Mothers. May we appreciate you with new eyes, and open our hearts to all the love only a Mother can give. A Mother’s love lives on in her children, if they love and appreciate her for all she has given them.

Namaste.

Keridwan

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