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My Journey: Learning to Trust God More

When Jesus of Nazareth was here some 2000 years ago, he often encouraged his followers and listeners to “Fear not” but to trust their heavenly Father with all of their needs. He described how even the hairs on our heads are all numbered, and how our Father both knows and cares even when a little bird dies. “Do not fear, you are more valuable than many sparrows.” he said in Luke 12:7. He also said that we cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying. In spite of all his wonderful encouragement to “fear not” and that we have no need to worry, why is it so many of us, myself included still struggle so with this issue? How can we come to grips with our worries and fears, and trust our Father in Heaven more?

Jesus also said how he often longs to gather us under his wings like a mother hen gathers her chicks and protect us, but we won’t let him.  As I consider these things I have to ask myself “why on earth am I so stubborn and difficult? What makes me try to do everything myself, and not let him help me more? Am I being too busy to even take time for him? Am I to proud, and think I can do things better with my puny vision and strength, than the King of the Universe? Seriously, do I really think that I will unravel if I don’t have full control at all times? What is my problem? Why do I worry so much!?

Sadly I think it is a combination of not trusting God enough, and thinking I either can or have to handle everything myself, even though I know I can’t do it! I also have been so busy trying to get everything done, much like Martha in the Mary and Martha story, ( found in Luke 10 ) that I haven’t spent enough time with Jesus to really get to know him and trust him and our Father in Heaven with all the “hairy details” of my life. In the Mary and Martha story, Jesus was at their house for lunch. Martha was very busy fixing the meal, while Mary simply sat at Jesus feet listening to all that he had to say. Martha got upset and asked Jesus to make Mary help her. “Martha, Martha, the Lord replied, “you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42. I hope that at that point Martha just sat down with Mary and listened to Jesus too. The meal could wait, as listening to Jesus is always the best choice.

I want to be like Mary, but I understand Martha completely too. She wanted to provide a wonderful meal for Jesus, who she loved very much also. She wanted to make everything really nice for him! That is how we Martha’s show our love. We do things for the people we care about. While doing things for Jesus to show our love for him is good and wonderful, it is more important to take time to sit at his feet and listen to him speak to your heart. With his words in your heart and mind, you will be better able to live a life that honors him with your loving actions.

Looking back at my questions, I can see that from all my years as a single Mom, when I had to get everything done myself, or it didn’t get done, I fell into a habit or pattern of thinking I had to handle everything, and try to plan and control every aspect of our lives to prevent disasters from happening. I was so busy doing everything, like Martha, I forgot to sit quietly at Jesus feet and listen like Mary did. If I had done this first, I would have been able to better raise my children with his help, and could have avoided many problems along the way.

While I can’t change the past, I can learn from it. It is my desire to sit quietly at Jesus feet and listen to what he has to say now. Worrying and trying to do everything myself, makes me miserable. I want to be happy, and trust God to take care of the details. Dinner can wait; I’m sitting down with Mary to listen at the Master’s feet. Listening is the beginning of learning to trust as we create a relationship.

Another great example of trusting God comes from the story of Moses found in the book of Exodus. (2) When he was born Pharaoh the King of Egypt where they lived was killing all the Jewish baby boys. Moses Mom Jochebed hid him for three months. It was getting really hard to hide him however as he cried loudly. So she made a little basket which she water proofed with pitch. She then put him in it, and set the basket adrift on the river. His sister Miriam followed the basket downstream to see what would become of him. He was found by the daughter of Pharaoh, who adopted him and paid his mom to care for him until he was 12 years old. He then went to live at the Palace with all the education and advantages of the royal family. This was all to prepare him for the incredible future God had in mind for him.

My point here is how much Jochebed trusted God. She could not protect him from Pharaoh, but God could. She could not control where the river took him or protect him from the crocodiles that ate the babies thrown into the river by Pharaoh’s soldiers, and other gifts of food the Egyptians gave them on little floating rafts as well. God however, could do all of those things. He did protect Moses from death, for the saving of all his people. I need to trust God in the same way to protect my children and grandchildren, to save them from the crocodiles that prowl the rivers of this life. He promises in Jeremiah 29:11 to save them from calamity and give them a hope and a future, if they will follow him. My learning to trust more and worry less is a work in progress, but I am on a journey with God here, who I trust will help me to grow in all the ways I need to grow.

In thinking about trusting God more I wrote this poem, imagining something Jesus might say to me.

“If you will follow Me

I will be the hug you need on your darkest nights.

I will be the hand you hold as you climb your steepest Mountains.

I will be, the positive affirmation you say, to get you through another day.

I will be the melody that sings within your heart..

I will help you up, when you fall.

I will be there whenever you call.

I will heal the many wounds you’ve carried for so long.

I will hold you when you cry.

I will carry you home, on the day you die.

If you follow Me, you never need to be alone again; feeling lost in your hurts and fears.

I love and miss you so much!

Won’t you please follow Me?”

Written by Keridwan aka Kerri Hays 08/20/18

I wish healing, happiness and peace to all of you. I hope you will also listen at the master’s feet. I heard, he is fixing an awesome supper for all who love him, and want to be there with him.

Namaste.

Keridwan

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